Having a Sugardaddy, is it really all that sweet?

So I am guilty as charged, I helped my best friends daughter open an account on sugardaddy.com. It was a joke at first. for me anyways. I guess I never really took it seriously. I was just wanting to see what kind of men actually announce that they would pay up to $10,000 a month for some chick to bat her eyelashes at him, ok and maybe bat a couple other things too. I mean I really did not think she would actually meet someone and then a few weeks later move in and play house with him. I think that is exactly what they are doing, playing house. They CAN'T know each other, what they do know before hand is that he has money, she is interested in it (not him yet) and there you go. Sounds like a perfect recipe for a relationship, try again. Love is hard enough when you actually love the person. How do relationships like these based on money and an agreement actually work out? Or do they? How did we get to the point that this is how we are forming, what is supposed to be lifelong partnerships? Did I set her up for this? OR did someone else?

So here it goes, one day my best friend and her 18 year old daughter and I are all sitting around the house, of course we are talking shop right? Men, love relationships, and of course all the latest gossip. Then we start talking about her daughters love life. Her mom said she needs an older man, someone with money that is willing to take care of her. Now the girl is 18 so when her mom says older I am thinking 20, 22, 25 TOPS!!! I am sitting there thinking... a nice guy with a job that doesn't mind that at 18 she already has a 2 year old. Shit she doesnt even have a job to take care of herself or her son. In my head I am saying yeah right, what is the likeliehood of anything going further with this. So I blurted out sugardaddy.com. I had seen it years ago on the Dr, Phil show and I thought damn, if these dudes are lonely and want to pay for some companionship, who am I to judge? I don't personally think there is anything wrong with a man wanting to help out a woman, if that is what she is comfortable with. If both parties are up front with their arrangement, then play ball. It's the deception I have a problem with. The facade that is placed on these May-September romances for money. So my friend's daughter sits down creates an account for herself on sugardaddy.com complete with how much she is asking for a month...shouldnt dating be this easy in real life? Within minutes she has offers from guys that are ready to meet, wine and dine. Never mind she is 18 and not even legal to take into a bar. So I looked at the offers, a couple of older men, who are coming in from out of town on business and would like some companionship. So there it is, isnt that a business arrangement, more so than a date? Didn't this used to be called escorting? I don't know maybe I am just a bit on the traditional side. I am thinking to myself how are you going to find some young kid closer to your age that is willing to freely spend money on you just for some companionship? First kids your age don't have that kind of money, nor do they need to advertise it for a date. So what does that leave you with? What kind of man goes on a site to say he will pay a girl monthly for her membership services? I am not certain, but if you ask me this site just sounds like legalized prostitution or an escort service if you decide NOT to come out of the panties. Either way to me its wrong and sometimes can be under false pretense. Do we as women just think that we are able to suck men into just giving us money and there isn't going to be any return on investment? I mean these guys didnt make this kind of money to be able to dish out, by being dumb. So what is that return on investment for these woman? Are they looking for the old Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, ending? Sad to say it just doesn't happen that way. Here let me go on the internet and find some rich guy who will pay me to sit around his pool all day in a bathing suit. I know its out there but this is the minority not the majority. You better be one hot mama, if you got it like that. You better believe there is a return on investment in that case. Is what you are returning for that money, really worth it? Can you put a price on your integrity. How do you know that you like someone for them when you are initially blinded by the "bling-bling" he is promising to deliver for just some time with you. Its silly when you look at that way. What do these types of formal agreements say about wealthy men, and money hungry women?

The problem for me is that the type of behavior that goes along with selling yourself. I mean I don't have a problem with the sugardaddy, daughter relationship if that is what floats your boat. I mean that is what it is isnt it? Or am I wrong. In some sick way to me, it has taken on this father daughter role. If a sugardaddy wants to give a consenting adult money for her time and maybe some favors too, then that is ok. When we start getting into these mid life crisis men, who are looking for girls, not women, half their age, and luring them with money, I dunno it starts to take on a little more distinct reality that I am not too comfortable with. I guess the problem that I have is there is no line drawn. The older the men are the younger they want their prize. Even worse what really added insult to injury was when my friend, and this little girl, cause that's what she still is to me, and always will be, says to me a couple of months later that the arranged couple decided to move in together? A fairy tale ending? Perhaps, or maybe until he is bored and needs to buy a new model. Here is a little girl that does not know how to grow up and be responsible. A little girl with a baby that has no idea how to begin to support herself. Not because anything is wrong with her, in my eyes because she is lazy. Men who afford these women the luxuries they do in exchange for taking off their bathing suits while swimming, or whatever it is they do together...are only enablers of this type of laziness and selfish thinking. ME. ME. ME. The younger generation has this need for immediate gratification. HMMMM I wonder where this comes from. That topic is a whole nother blog altogether.

I guess mothering takes on two sides. Those of us who teach our daughters to depend on themselves, respect themselves and be independent in all ways. Who teach there daughters that men are not the completion of you but an enhancement. Then there is the other side. The mother who says its expected for a man to take care of you, he owes it to you. You owe nothing to yourself. His money will buy you all the happiness you need sweetheart. Well I agree it is ok for a man to take care of a woman. BUT and there is a serious but in there. BUT shouldn't it be more so a man taking care of a woman that knows how to take care of herself? How else can the women emotionally mentally and physically fulfill anyone elses needs when hers are not met first. Then you get into some men who become more intimidated when the woman works, and possibly makes more than he does. It then becomes an ego check, So it all boils down to what men really want. You all send such mixed signals. Do you want a woman that isn't going to leech onto you, who knows how to take care of herself, who has her own things, friends and plans, but still you ARE her world? Or do you want the oh woest me woman, who cant pay her rent to save her life, cause she blew it on too many outfits for the weekend? I mean c'mon. You guys gotta get it together too. If you have all this money and want to lavish woman with expensive gifts and travel, that is fine. BUT why must you do it with the 18 year old high school dropout that lied and said she went to college and has fake tits. Where is the REAL in that. Why cant it be a woman closer to your age? What's wrong with them, oh they have baggage right? Yeah they have baggage, ASSHOLES like you! Who will spend 10,000 on a tiffany bracelet for some hottie who can barely spell her middle name, BUT she's got a great rack and knows how to suck a dick. Are men that shallow? Or are woman that gullible? Or both? You decide.

Getting Rid of Pesky Pests

The common household ant, is typically the sugar or pavement ant. These creatures will come in droves from seemingly, absolutely nowhere and invade the tiniest crumb left behind. Here are a couple of sure fire ALL NATURAL ways to get rid of those pesky pests. I have used the borax method after the ants decided to swarm, and I mean swarm a gingerbread house left in my kitchen overnight. These are things you may just possibly have around your house and if not they are inexpensive items that can be purchased at your local store.

1.Borax is the most common ingredient in house ant control products, and get this: it's absolutely 100% natural. The best way (in my opinion) to use Borax is to mix 1 cup of warm water with 1/2 cup of sugar, and 2 tablespoons of Borax. Then soak the Borax mixture up with cotton balls and place those cotton balls near any trails the ants have established in your home.

2. Whole cloves are apparently a rather well-known natural ant control. Personally, I've never tried it, but research says they're effective against silverfish infestations, so why shouldn't they be effective against ants? This argument hardly holds weight from a logical stand point, but I'm not the only one to recommend whole cloves as a natural ant control measure.

3. Diatomaceous earth (be sure it's Food Grade) is not just for worming or keeping crawling bugs out of your garden. You can also use diatomaceous earth to line the outside of your home, around the edges of the house, to help cut up and kill any bugs that try to enter your home from the ground level. The theory behind diatomaceous earth's effectiveness is that the razor sharp edges of this fossilized algae cut through the exoskeleton of the bug and either poison the bug or dehydrate it. Whatever the cause of the bug's death, diatomaceous earth is perfect for keeping ants out of your home and Argentine Ants out of your garden.

Whichever method you decide to use, remember these are all natural ALTERNATIVES to using ant poison. Be well and good luck getting those buggers out of your home.

Breaking down the Desperate Housewife

So, one of my favorite shows along with millions of other women is Desperate Housewives, and I have to say I am guilty as well of watching The Real Housewives of.....Atlanta, it is this season, New York prior and the original was Orange County for two seasons. Viewers have delved into these shows and others like it peering into these women's lives searching for a glimpse of whats in, hip and cool, the latest hot spot, drink, hair style, designer, plastic surgeon, you name it. We can not get enough of the gossip and who is doing what. We now emulate these women, for they are HOUSEWIVES. Oh yeah, really, what housewife do you know that gets up in the morning and doesn't have to clean the house, do the laundry, dishes, make lunches, wipe snot, change diapers, drive the kids to school all while in sweats and sweatshirt (you may occasionally see these women on tv driving their kids to school, the only difference is its either to a private school or in a $100, 000 car and they'd never be caught dead in sweats!) I mean tit for tat right. The list goes on too. I could tell you the many different hats I wear during the day and none of them includes getting spoiled all day while I get to gossip, go for lunch at the country club, shopping with the girls, and then cant forget my botox injection after I get a mani pedi and then off to dinner and drinks with hubby and friends. My schedule is full, just not of any of these things. My toenail polish has to be grown out before I have forced myself to make the time to get them done. I mean the only thing that classifies these women as housewives is that they are wives (most of the time) and they have a house, usually a big one. What does housewife mean? In the traditional sense it meant taking care of the house, kids, and your husband, and that included everything, cleaning, cooking, finances, children and sex. All the kids did was go to school and come home to mom. Dad worked and came home to a hot meal on the table, the big piece of chicken and no back talk. This is no small task, it sounds simple but easier said than done. Today things are much different, the traditional housewife today according to these shows, takes care of picking out the nanny, maid, and what to order out for dinner. I think we went from taking care of everyone else and not especially ourselves to now only taking care of ourselves and letting everyone else take care of us too. Where is the balance? You also have today's retro housewife who is interested in getting back to the more traditional values we once held as homemakers. It is sad to me that there are single mothers out there with no help from the baby's daddy, whose kids are pining for that attention from mom, unfortunately she is unable to give it because they are working, holding down the house and a job. Then you have the double income family whose parents are both out there working and again the kids are missing out because this is what needs to be done in this society to pay those house notes. Then you have the housewife, the lucky housewife, who has the fortunate and most important position of taking care of the kids, house and hubby. This is where the water gets mucky, you have two types of housewives today, the one I described earlier, the Desperate Housewives we see depicted on television several times a week talking about their boob jobs, the next big party, or their wonderful multi million dollar jobs they have but yet and still dont have time to take care of the kids. The second is the polar opposite, what I like to call the Depressed Housewives, this mom doesnt balance anything for herself, she is absorbed in perfecting the house, kids, marriage, PTA, charity, etc. With the first example, the Despererate Housewive, (desperate for attention, I suppose) someone has to support this lifestyle, and who is usually working their ass off so mommy can get a new pair of boobs, the husband. He usually doesnt get a hot dinner from mommy, he is meeting her for dinner while the kids are at home with the nanny. He is only there for the social aspect of what is going on in the marriage. The nannies, who in my opinion and others I know, should be taking care of the overflow with the kids, helping the mom out when she needs it, and providing baby sitting services when required, but not RAISING the damn kids. Nowadays kids know their nannies better and see them more often than their own parents, and this is sad to me, because if you are in a position where you can afford a nanny then why wouldn't you provide the finances to free up some god damned time so that you can get to know your kids? We seriously have become so society driven that we are forgetting who is teaching your kids the morals and values we so hope our children are learning. Even private schools dont keep your girls from giving blow jobs at 13. Unfortunately nannies and video games can not provide what we can as parents, hands on. Everything seems to be spiraling out of control with our youth, and who do we have to blame for this? Absent parents, one way or another. It probably doesn't seem too glamerous to have a show with women who actually clean all day and barely have time to shower because you cant leave the kids alone for too long. No they have a show for those women, wife swap. So they can swap this woman with the first type of housewife and make her see what she is really missing. I think that there should be a balance, we as women should take the time to beautify ourselves and "do lunch" we should have quiet time for ourselves. In the 40' and 50's husbands didnt see their wives without their "face" on. Women were up first and a rarin' to go, they looked nice taking the kids to school and served dinner with a full dress on. Things were a little more like they are now, except we have taken it to a whole new level, nowadays husbands don't even know what their wives real tits looked liked or lips for that matter. I am not against plastic surgery but if you are trying it on like a new dress, then something is wrong. God gave us and WE are taking away. We went from being plain jain's to being picture perfect all of the time. Again there is a balance.You are a housewife, the papparazzi is not following your every move. Who are we seriously trying to be so "HOT" for? We have husbands, be hot for him at home in bed. Whose acceptance are we so desperately seeking? Find that balance for yourself. Get in there, get dirty, get pedicures and manicures, be there for yourself, your kids and your husband, and not only will they be there for you but their acceptance will be all the acceptance you need. I am sure your kids dont care what your tits look like in a bikini. Just that you are in one somewhere with them.

God Bless the Ugly People

So my daughter and I are doing are usual bedtime routine when after her prayers are done she looks to me and says "God bless everyone, even the ugly people" Now inside I am puzzled, cringing, crying and laughing at the same time. I am searching for damage control, I am racking my brain trying to figure out how I got put on the spot so quickly. It was ridiculous, I was struggling with what she meant, what did she mean? God bless the people who are ugly on the outside or did she mean the "ugly" people of the world, the bad people, a context in which I knew she had heard me use. She could have meant both, but sitting there was my "beautiful" daughter, a little girl who hears numerous times a day just how pretty she really is not just from her family, but society as well. As sad and dissapointed as I was to admit, I thought she meant the ugly ducklings of the world. Did she think she had an advantage already and how in the hell do I go about explaining, all of the shit that is running around in my head? I am thinking media, entertainment and society have put such an emphasis on pretty, that my daughter is running around here thinking that there is a race of ugly people, "yeah nice to meet you I am, black, asian, white, ugly....." I mean it is Americas Next Top Model, not the girl on the top of the ugly list. I mean they just threw in a plus sized model last season to prove a point, yeah that proves my point exactly. Popular girls are pretty, the girls on tv are pretty, I knew that no matter how strongly I felt about telling her she was smart so often, it hadnt offset the "my what a pretty little girl"s" she had heard day in and day out. It had done no good, now she just knew she was pretty and smart, what had I gotten myself into here? I look at her and say babygirl, God made everyone beautiful in their own way, with some people you cant just always see it right away, you have to look for it but its there and you can find it and just because you cant see it right away doesnt mean they are ugly. God didnt make any ugly people he just made ugly intentions, Just because there are pretty people on the outside doesnt always make you pretty on the inside but that is what really makes you beautiful, when you are pretty on the inside and outside". I barely knew if I had made any sense, how in the hell did I expect a five year old to understand the depth of which I was trying to explain this to her. I told her about how being helpful, kind and generous all made you pretty on the inside. Making good choices made you pretty. It was hard to explain the difference between being ugly on the inside and outside, that was more difficult because we dont explain ugly, we ignore it we pretend it doesnt exist, only the pretty people get attention, you have to be pretty before you can do anything else. You have to be pretty to get the guy, job interview, your tire changed, oh what a fucking burden it is to be pretty. Do we ever take the time to think about what ugly people go through, they dont get the guy, job interview or their tire changed, they dont get shit, they have to deal with all of that and then being ignored by the pretty people. You better have a great fucking personality if you are ugly, I mean a cute boy with a great personality still gets to go to prom. If you are an ugly girl with a great personality you dont get asked to prom, unless its a pity date your parents set up with your neighbor or your cousin. Ugly Betty is our first ugly heroine, but she is still a buffoon at times, not to be taken too seriously. One day I would like to see Ugly Betty run for president and win, I mean then we can say we have made great strides in America we have crossed all barriers, (as I am editing a quote from Chris Rock) we can say we have had a retarded president, a black one and an ugly one. Then I can really sell the dream to my daughter.